I am so fatigued today, painfully fatigued. I look the faces of my sweet angels who just want Mommy to play with them. But, I just can't.It takes every ounce of energy I have just to go to the bathroom.
My muscles are fatigued as well. I have no strength to lift my arms straight up, or to hold my cell phone, let alone pick one of the kids up.
But, being a Mom, I know I have to suck it up. These kids are depending on me, and it already breaks my heart how my 5 year old handles this all, so brave, calm and understanding. I don't want to miss a moment of my babies growing up, but Lupus has other plans for me! I also hate not going out with friends and family, but I do send my husband and the kids while I stay home. There is usually a lot of talk about that. But, I choose to save my energy for my husband and kids,
I have given up do much to this disease, lost friends and even family members because I'm "different" I know people may not mean to be this way as they just don't understand. Just feels as soon as things for me got more serious and I gave up certain roles, nobody cares anymore. I think that's the one thing I can thank Lupus for, showing me the real side of people. Knowing the people I can trust in an emergency.
Lupus SUCKS it strips us down to almost nothing, it strips relationships from us, it's an invisvble illness so NO ONE believes you're sick. All we have is each other. Jen, Missie, and I are always here to offer support in any way we can. And I'm sure there will be days that we could use the encouragement!
~~Sarah
I have been a Lupus patient for 15 years. I understand all of your feelings. It is an excellent idea for you three ladies to come together and support each other. The support you provide is based on a level of being able to honestly and completely relate to your individual experiences. Priceless.
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