Good Day

Today is a good day for me. Actually the last several days have been good! Which is a huge relief. I love being able to have fun with my kids, play on the floor with them, paint each other's nails, color, dance & be silly. And I enjoy having the energy to keep the house picked up (hey I have 3 kids, picked up is as clean as the house gets!) And have dinner ready when hubby gets home from work. I love so much to serve him after he has had a long day at work. He takes such good care of me when I'm sick, I'm thankful to have the energy to give back to him.
The problem with good days, I keep pushing & pushing myself. I never know how long good days are going to last, so I get done as much as I can. To the point that I over-do myself & work myself into a flare. Ooops!
The other bad thing that comes from good days, is those around you that don't fully understand how Lupus works, see you doing good, then think you're faking for attention when suddenly you're good days turned to bad days. Oh and then there are the people that don't care either way. Why I even allow those people in my life is beyond me.
It's such a catch 22 to have good days! And embracing these days & telling yourself not to let people who don't understand get to you, is so much easier said than done. So yes, as convoluted & selfish as this sounds, I kind of dread the repercussions of good days. I LOVE the good days & am incredibly thankful for how good I have been feeling. But, I dread what's to come. The crash & burn, the "but you were just so healthy yesterday, how can you be so sick today" comments, disappointing my 3 precious angels when suddenly I can't play like I was the day or days before. Just seems like so much for one person to handle, to constantly think about, "when will this/these good day(s) end?" "When will I be a disappointment to everyone again?"
I'm trying to enjoy feeling as good as I have been, better than I've felt in years. But, well there's always a "but" isn't there? I just wish more people understood like my awesome husband & Lupus Sisters do.
Good Days, are they really that good, knowing what's to come when the good day is over?
With that said, all 3 of my girls are napping, I better sneak one in too!
Love & energy filled, pain free days to you all! ~~Sarah