Meds, meds and more meds

Well, my daily med count is up to 13. Sometimes I wonder if they're all absolutely necessary, but boy on those bad days I don't know how I would get through the day without them. Ever notice how people look at you or treat you once they realize you take pain meds? The connotation that only drug addicts take narcotic pain meds irritates me, but I don't think it will ever change. I just recently changed a few of mine and added a couple. So, despite knowing that someone will read this or more than one someone most likely, and roll their eyes and think "oh great another pill popper" I am going to share all the medicine I am on.

1) Levothyroxin 200mcg (I had a total thyroidectomy in 2005 so I have to take hormones to replace the hormone the thyroid would produce)
2) Promethazine 25mg I'm always nauseous
3) Meclizine (aka Anti-vert for vertigo)
4) Prednisone (a common Lupie med)
5) Plaquenil (another common Lupie med)
6) Relpax (migraine med)
7) Benadryl twice a day (allergies and hives)
8) Flexeril (muscle relaxer)
9) Tramadol (non-narcotic pain medicine)
10) Norco 10 (aka vicodin for pain)
11) oxycodone 5mg (pain med only for the REALLY bad days)
12) Ativan (to take after a seizure to slow the neurons in my brain and hopefully prevent another seizure)
13) Klonopin (anxiety and sleep aid)

There I said it I'm putting it all out there for the world to see! I'm tired of living in fear of what people will think of me. I have Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Seizure Disorder, Endometriosis, Migraines and acquired hypothyroidism. AND I can't take Motrin or NSAID's because I am allergic to them (hives) and my kidney Dr doesn't want me them, because of my recent kidney issues. So, yes that leaves stronger pain meds. And even if I took Motrin or Aleve, it would do nothing for the deep, severe, daily pain. 

I don't like that I have to take all these meds, I don't even want to take them most days. I sit and stare at them for hours sometimes knowing I have to take them, but just don't want to. How is it fair that I'm barely 30 and have to take so much medication to function. How is it fair that I have to hide it all from most people because they're uneducated and assume I am a druggie because of the type of meds I'm on. This is my life in all it's glory, this is Lupus, this is what invisible illness looks like.
~Sarah