Hello my lovely followers! Sarah here. Sorry it has been so long since I have blogged but Lupus has been kicking my butt lately! I just don't feel as if this flare will ever let up! Exhaustion, migraines, kidney issues, pericarditis, asthma, rashes, hair falling out in clumps & PAIN everywhere & Always in PAIN. Then the death of my cousin, the stress of all that exacerbated the entire flare.
I am just so very very tired. I feel as though I am just existing here. This is no life, just existing. I am so incredibly blessed by my Husband and beautiful girls that keep me going! On top of the sweet angels (friend's' kids I watch throughout the week) because no matter how bad I feel physically always having children around & the love of my husband puts it all into perspective.
The bad days when I hear from no one & get very bad reports from Dr's & can get no relief from pain are the rough days. I wonder how time can go on & on & my symptoms from Lupus get worse & no one I know or care about or 'care about me' could call, text, Facebook, email or kik me. It can be a very lonely existence sometimes. I have become so good at faking a smile & saying I'm good when asked. When really, I'm just existing. This disease is so scary in the sense that you don't know what to expect from day to day. Yesterday could have been a great day where toomorrow I may not be able to get out of bed. It is frustratingly infuriating sometimes!
The one thing I can say is my Dr has gotten a handle on my insomnia issues which helps A LOT! It is unfortunately more medicine but getting a good solid 7-ish hours of sleep at night is so nice!
It just scares me some days knowing so many people whom have died due to complications of Lupus, friends through various support groups that I have gotten close to. And there are family members & loved ones I don't talk to. We are not promised tomorrow folks. Life is way to precious of a gift to hold grudges or just take for granted that that person will always be there. You just never know. Hug those you have next to you whom you care about closely, tell those you love that you love them. You may never get the chance again.
Now on to loving on my loves & getting night time snuggles! My favorite part of the day! <3
I will make sure to not let so much time go by before I blog again....promise!
~~Sarah
Friday, September 27, 2013
I'm still here!!
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